I got my Inner Teen a job in a pub

A teaching on consciously running a pattern

If you have been around for a while you will be aware that I have been on a deep dive journey with my Inner Teen.

There was a lot of turmoil in my teenage years and even though on many levels I had come to terms with what had happened and could understand it all, I had never been able to connect to that part of me because my Inner Teen was so deeply hidden within the shadow of my consciousness and in essence running certain areas of my Life.
It took me a new pathway in to my body to finally connect to Her and it was a tender homecoming.

You see when you cannot See a part of yourself, there is a high likelihood that they are the ones in charge.

Them running the show is not yet another opportunity to berate and reject a part of yourself, in fact, it can offer a point of reference for you to orientate to so that you can then begin the process of integrating this part of yourself back in to the Wholeness of You.

Now, our Inner Teens are survivalists, if you think back to your own teen years, however they were for you, the teenage years are an initiatory time for us; where we begin to find our feet as individuals and begin the process of separating from the family system, whether that is a full blown rebellion, going off to uni, experimenting; there is a level of survival that has to come in through this portal of time.

And yet we are not meant to stay in that level of grit and survival as adults, it is possible shift out of constant survival and experience a deep sense of thriving in our life.

My Inner Teen was an excellent survivalist because there were moments where my physical safety was at risk and a part of my nervous system was well and truly frozen in that chapter of my life and this frozenness had continued through in certain aspects of my Life until I chose to use this practice to support my Inner Teen to feel safe and trust that I have her and that she does not need to run the show anymore.

For me there was a spot were my Inner Teen was deeply mistrusting of me and my capacity to keep her safe and that translated in a deep freeze occurring within my system + the protection of the saboteur coming out in full force (yes, in actual fact your inner saboteur is a layer of protection).

My Inner Teen is a grafter, it wasn’t uncommon for me to have 3 jobs on the go as a Teen, with summers spent working 50+ hours a week because that is what you did working in a tourist village on the North East coast and so this translated into a really interesting occurrence where my Inner Teen started to try and shut down my business; my business grew a lot last year and it began to freak her the F out, as it was completely new territory on a lot of levels, more freedom, more opportunities, essentially everything we had been working towards for years landed last year.

And my Inner Teen was terrified + the Freeze hit strong + the sabotaging began.

As I began to connect with Her, and to build that point of communication with Her to thaw the Freeze and the sabotaging, I asked Her what She need to feel safe.

She responded, I want a job in a pub because that is what I know is safe.

I took a moment and let that sink into my system for a moment and took a deep breath and said OK, lets do this.

I set a time boundary with this pattern, I knew a stretch of time was needed to explore this but I wasn’t sure how long, so I set a time frame 6 weeks for this process to unfold in.

And then I went all in:

I created a CV

I found some places that were hiring and passed along my CV

Had an interview, got a part time job

And a start date

In the run up to it I allowed myself to feel everything + there was a lot there to feel and I let it run all the way through my system, choosing not to avoid any of it as I began to unravel the deep freeze and survival in my system.

As the start date drew closer I could feel certain old stories come to the surface, stories that were born from my teenage years, stories of ‘never amounting to anything’, being a failure, that the only thing i’ve ever been good at is the work that I did in my teens.

The stories were loud and I felt every single one of them, allowing them to wash over me again and again, these projections of others, that I had quietly taken on as my own and one by one they released their hold over me.

As I began my first shift I allowed myself to stay really rooted in my body and in conversation with my Inner Teen, I noticed Her joy of being able to play and act in certain ways, how She wanted to walk through the pub, how She wanted to be seen by the manager, the customers, the kitchen staff (That Good Girl Pleaser was in full force and I gave it space to play out).

I noticed how She felt safe in this environment because it was what She knew best, a waiting on job felt safe to Her.

I noticed how She desperately did not want to be responsible for anything and enjoyed being told what to do, (Adult me did not enjoy being told what to do just FYI).

And in the process I saw how She made working Her safe haven within those tumultuous years.

And something shifted in that moment.

An acknowledgement on my part as the adult of what She had survived so well during those years.

And an acknowledgement from my Inner Teen that this is not the reality that She truly desires for us, even if it did feel familiar and safe.

A recognition from Her that She did not need to be responsible anymore for running the show and that the present adult version Jasmin has got Her.

And with that the freeze thawed and She began to rest back into the wholeness of me.

We stayed two days at the pub job, that was enough for the pattern to run its course and since then She has been able to rest for the first time ever, safe in the knowing that all is well and She no longer needs to be in charge.

So you maybe wondering, how has it impacted my current reality, what changes have I experienced?

✧ There is a consistent sense of ease in my whole system which translates to seeing all the possibilities that are available in any moment; when we live in survival we go very narrow-sighted, which is why we find ourselves going into old spaces that feel familiar.
✧My Nervous System is feeling healthier and far more resourced than it has ever been.
✧I’ve found a next level of excitement and joy for Life.
✧The possibilities available to me are beyond my wildest dreams.
✧Some very exciting opportunities have come my way and my body feels ready to receive them where as before i would have shut down entirely at even the suggestion.
✧A massive Rebirth within my business which has created more capacity for more gorgeous Women to enter, this would not have been possible if my Inner Teen was in charge still.
✧ There’s more, but ye gal likes a level of privacy, but these give you a little taste of what’s possible.

This is how your Life and Embodiment go hand in hand.

Taking these practices out into Life enables you to shift out of them in real time.

This is how you respond to your reality.

This is an example of deep listening to your body and orientating to what is being shared.

This is an example of running a pattern consciously within you Life so that you can begin to release the charge it has over you.

Now the reality is, most people don’t have the time to go to such extreme lengths like the one I have shared above but it doesn’t have to look a certain way, it can also look like:

✧ Running The Good Girl Pleaser Pleaser Pattern in your place of work
✧Running the pattern of being Victim of Life + why you enjoy it so much
✧Running a pattern of following a desire and tuning into whether your Nervous System is ready to receive that desire.

I could seriously write a whole book in this process, there is so much to share around it.

If this teaching has ignited something within you and you are feeling called to journey with your Inner Teen you are invited to join us on the 8th June for a gorgeous full day immersion in Derbyshire.